Things are put on the stairs to be carried up, yet only the lady of the house is able to physically carry them up???

Sometimes it's astounding just how much junk filters its way downstairs during the course of the day. This may occur through the hands of absolutely any member of the household, yet only the "alpha female" appears to have the ability to return these items to their rightful home on the upper story. In my house it used to start around breakfast time, when a tiny, gaudy, bejewelled high heeled Bratz shoe would appear at the breakfast table.... just the one shoe... and no Bratz doll attached to it. Your first instinct is to re-house this irritating little item straight into the bin. After all, they play havoc with the dogs digestive system! But then the thought of the emotional outburst which would break out later, when "Chloe the Slapper Bratz" only had one "slapper shoe", sends you to the stairs instead. And so, the first item of the day hits that fateful zone. From there on the pile will rapidly grow as hairbrush, breakfast stained school sweater, Harry Potter Cape [which is prised off each day before school] and the statutory plastic tiara all join the Bratz shoe on that bottom stair. Before you even embark on the morning school run the bottom stair is already fully laden with offspring's tat. Despite the fact that these items are the children's most treasured possessions, they still manage to climb over them and even stand on them, as they race to the bathroom to wet their toothbrushes and flick toothpaste over the sink and their uniform.

Then there are the additional household and hubby items that need to make that high altitude ascent. The shoes, tie and watch all dumped by the coffee table [along with a half drunk bottle of Becks] all abandoned after that big night out. The new bathroom loo bleach, shampoo and loo rolls. The sweatshirt found stuffed down the side of the armchair [its amazing what you can hide down there!] And, of course, the beeping cordless phone which is calling out for its recharge point up in the bedroom.
By the time you next make that trip to the top floor the pile has expanded to cover the entire width of at least 3 steps. This creates a mammoth obstacle course for anyone attempting to make the ascent yet still ..... they do!!!
Some men have been known to make the double handrail heave manoeuvre to assist them in their attempt to make a four step stride and when this results in a groin strain then the indignant complaints commence.
"What''s all this junk doing on the stairs anyway??? Are you trying to kill someone???"  [That one is always tempting to answer] and then the clincher, "Why don't you just carry the stuff up when you find it?"
This pearl of wisdom is usually the cause of that poor camels back injury.... A quick mental calculation reveals that if you had carried each item up individually you would have made 28 trips up the stairs by lunchtime. Admittedly this would have worked wonders on the thigh flab, and saved on gym time and money. However, this patronising advice is simply bang out of order; especially coming from the man who practically resorted to using carabiner clips and climbing ropes in a bid to make his one isolated ascent without carry one single item.
Despite the fact that there had been no murderous intent originally, This imparting of wisdom from Prince Perfect is enough to drive even the likes of Mary Poppins to a crime of passion.
It may seem a tad churlish to point out their own domestic failings as they indignantly rub their bruised pride and groin, but .... hey ho! Suddenly your mouth is on overdrive as you recount a whole host of irritations that you suffer from as a result of simply being their spouse. Speedy calculations of how many times you have found their coffee mug above the dishwasher, because they are seemingly unable to open the appliance and pop it inside. Empty loo rolls unchanged, shoes abandoned, dirty clothes on top of the laundry basket rather than in it ..... and so the female machine gun rant goes on...
Okay, so none of the above is related in any way to you booby-trapping the stairs, but when it comes to the phenomenon of the inability to carry items up the stairs, unless your body contains oestrogen, then suddenly all unrelated arguments have an air of validity!